If it CAN’t be the way it SHOULD be, then it SHOULD be the way it CAN be.

A very common thinking error is should-thinking.

‘It should have gone this way.’

‘She should have said that.’

‘He should never have done that.’

Should-thinking is made up of idealistic statements. In an ideal scenario, in a utopia, it should have gone this way. But it didn’t. Because this is not utopia.

Should-thinking is a child-like way of thinking. My daughter thinks unicorns should exist. 

Should-thinking causes frustration. You’re battling reality. And that is very energy-consuming.

Change your should-thinking to avoid frustration. Focus on accepting. 

Accepting that it didn’t go this way, she didn’t say that, and he did do that. And that unicorns do not exist.

When you accept reality, you can focus your energy on dealing with the reality. You can look for solutions and take action.

From should-thinking to solution-focussed. You buy a toy unicorn. Or six.

#leadershipcoaching #thinkingerrors #unicorns